So Pissed Off....

I often knit for other people…to be honest most of my knitting seems to be done for other people. The only things I’ve got in my place that I’ve knit for me are socks, hat and scarves….and that 1/8th of an extra large Big Bad Baby Blanket, but I’m only referring to finished objects. I know it's mainly because it was difficult to knit a sweater for myself before the weight loss. You don’t think of the extra yarn that’s needed (well I didn’t), until you figure out the yardage. So, while some people can get a sweater out of 900 yards, I needed almost twice that amount….not a cheap proposition. I’m down to needing about 1200 yards and that makes me happy. But I digress. I knit for other people and am wondering how to deal with being angry at the person I’m knitting for in the middle of a project.

I have been working on a project for a friend for months now (since December) and she pissed me off yesterday. I sent her an email asking for her work address because I don’t know what the security is like at her home if a package can’t fit in the mail box. She sends me an email with the address and a note saying “save it this time.” My reaction was: What? The? Fuck? I’m sending you something, and all you can think to say is save it this time. As if it’s a bother to you for me to ask for this address. If someone asked me for my address every day for a year I’d just fucking give it to them and not act as if it’s a bother to me.

**breathe** My neck is tensing up.

So, I go home and I make banana bread for my local friends. As I’m waiting by the oven I knit. I finish up the first scarf for the soldiers and then start the second one. Then I pull out The Project. My annoyance flashes through my mind as I begin to work on it and I glance over and see the pile:



This pile represents six months of work…off and on, but mostly on….so much on that the SnB ladies have asked when it’s going to be done. Imagine them asking when they only see it once a week and how I feel about it seeing it every single day?

I begin to muse about being pissed off in the midst of this epic project. How would I handle it if I’d been pissed off enough to shoot back a snide remark and probably end the friendship? She’s had a hard half year or so…and has developed a habit of dishing it out but not taking it in very well. As I knit the center of the first of the last four squares I thought about that story of the angry kid with the nails in the fence. And think she put a nail in my fence today. Then I thought, maybe I’m just being too sensitive because I’m not feeling well….I need a Red Tent is all I’m saying. So, while I pondered these things I never stopped knitting. I am about halfway through the first of the last four squares which puts me at 70.83% complete….

Here are all the squares of the epic project…just three and a half more to go before I begin the finishing:

I want this thing done and out of my house....after that it's all knitting for T all the time......although there are several stash members that are earmarked especially for gifts for her....I'll have to chop it back to special occasions only.